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I buried this idea along with the letter knowing I would re-enter the dating scene in my own time. I was by myself at the grocery store and I looked up to find a man watching me with an interested look in his eye. I called him and asked him what he thought about me dating. I’m so happy you are considering it.” Her response wasn’t what I expected, but from both her and my father-in-law’s answers I felt better about moving forward.

To my surprise, I found myself feeling attracted to him. This innocent exchange of glances made me uncomfortable, but only in a sense that I realized I was no longer a married woman but an available single one. First, I needed to be willing to discuss dating with people who I was close to. He said genuinely that he wanted me to be happy and that he knew Mark would want me to be happy too. I wasn’t sure what she would say and was shocked when she didn’t say anything. Second, I needed to know that I wouldn’t be dating to just fill a void. However I had met Mark online and thought it was a good place to start. It felt a little uncomfortable to be searching for a ‘new’ man after being with one man for ten years.

He didn’t hesitate to give me his blessing to date whoever and whenever I wanted. I knew that the void that Mark’s death left in my life would never be filled the same way that Mark filled it. As I scanned through the results not many of the profiles interested me.

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The letter said that when you lose a spouse it is normal to want to date, usually sooner rather than later.

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